the last walk

PRESS PLAY Décollage - Les Balayeurs du Desert

This is my longest post so far; lots of pictures, long video, the history of a lifetime. This is me saying goodbye to the apartment that was home for me and my family for 26 years. I grew up in this place. I remember when I moved here I used to get lost in the hall because it was so much bigger than our former place... but it's ok, I was only 6, and everything looks bigger that it really is. My sister and I used to roller blade in the living room and everything... good times :)

We had a dog named Pepita, a parrot that I don't remember the name, a few black birds that used to walk around on my dad's shoulders and eat breakfast from his mouth, one of those cute white mice, a turtle, a crazy cat we had to get rid of and I think that was it. Pretty much we had a zoo...

I've lived there most of my life. I left a few times, came back, and 3 years ago I moved out for good, but this place was still my house in my heart. My mom lived there all this time, my dad left 10 years ago when they divorced and my sister moved in with her family when I moved out this last time, to watch for my mom, who was not so well... great memories, horrible memories, LOTS of memories.

You can't believe how much stuff you can find in a place where a family lived for all these years. I saw things I didn't even know exist anymore. I had to get rid of lots of things, some with pleasure, some with pain. I brought a bit of everything back home, so I can make them part of my history now. Recycle. Transform. Reborn.

Somehow saying goodbye to this house was saying goodbye to my mom once again. She left this world on September 21, last year. Although we have been taking care of her stuff this last year, most of it was still there, and the room itself held a strong memory of her. Now I will have no where in this physical world to be that reminds me of her like this; only my heart and mind. In a way that is sad, in another that is liberating.

I learned that our memories are very adjustable to what we wish life had been, and I'm definitely going to use that in my favor, and keep only amazing loving memories of this past that is now more than ever behind, and some well learned lessons that made me the woman I am today. I'm sure my mom would be proud.

Good bye sweet home :')